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TSA Says It Will Stop Groping Grannies

Double dose of radiation for seniors will allow them to avoid pat downs

Steve Watson
March 15, 2012

TSA Says It Will Stop Groping Grannies 799183 us tsa screens

Reeling from recent fresh backlash, the TSA says it is relaxing security procedures for over 75s – essentially Big Sis has promised to stop feeling up grandma at the airport.

According to reports, new TSA rules will allow the elderly to keep on shoes and jackets, and agents will be advised to avoid carrying out pat downs unless absolutely necessary.

The move comes in the wake of several incidents involving TSA agents subjecting elderly people to strip searches, colostomy bag inspections and adult diaper investigation.

Of course, this also means that instead of being groped if she sets off an alarm, grandma could be sent back through a full body scanner and fired with another dose of ionizing radiation.

The agency says it will deploy more agents to visually analyze passengers and determine whether they qualify for the less strict screening method.

The TSA claims that the new policy represents a move away from “a one-size-fits-all approach to security toward “intelligence-driven and risk-based security models”.

A test program for the new procedures is underway this week at four international airports in the U.S. – Orlando, Chicago, Denver and Portland.

Critics will contend that this is nothing more than a replacement of one form of invasive security theater with another, and that the real solution here is to remove the TSA from the nation’s airports altogether.

If The Department of Homeland Security was serious about protecting the lives of Americans, it would allow people to fly without the fear of being treated like cattle, being irradiated in next to useless body scanners and being sexually harassed and groped by overly authoritative goons in uniform.

As we have previously reported, the fear of such treatment is killing thousands more Americans as they take to the highways instead of flying.

Of course, we have also heard these kind of empty promises from the TSA before. When the agency announced before the Senate last year that it was changing its policy to stop airport screeners intrusively searching young children, it had already made almost the exact same announcement in 2010, yet pat-downs on children continued regardless.


Steve Watson is the London based writer and editor for Alex Jones’, and He has a Masters Degree in International Relations from the School of Politics at The University of Nottingham in England.

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